Reflection

Last year was filled with lost of trips to MD Anderson for tests for a nasty 8cm stomach tumor. A lot of times I was running on autopilot and just trying to survive. At the time, if I had spent the time to "take it all in" I probably would have collapsed under the weight of it all. Cancer is a unique condition where you must endure endless tests, being poked, prodded, and humiliated. When I think back about my experience I don't normally think of the enormity of the varied test. I recently joined www.ihadcancer.com and when you fill out your profile you have an opportunity to list all the "treatments" you had. As I went through the list I was stunned by how much had been done to me. It really brought back some feelings that I had forgotten, some of which included fear, uncertainty, anger, and hopelessness. While I'm not happy to have gone through the experience, it was a time that puts things in to a very different perspective. If I didn't come out changed for the better I feel I wasted an opportunity to learn a grow.

Since that experience, I hope to be a resource for others who are also going through the experience. To stand beside them as they face life altering decisions. To listen to them when they are scared they might die. To encourage them to be strong and face their treatments. To help them know that there is hope and that cancer doesn't get an automatic win in their lives. I'm not a professional, just someone who has walked through a portion of pain and wants to help others along their journey.